Sunday night’s episode of HBO’s Looking was dedicated almost entirely to Jonathan Groff’s ample booty. Richie, the dude Groff’s character, Patrick, is dating, jokingly accused him of analphobia when he acknowledged his discomfort at being penetrated, suggesting that he’s unconsciously trying to please his parents by eschewing the socially stigmatized role of bottoming.
So like the curious homos we are, we decided to do a little research into this concept.
The all-knowing Urban Dictionary defines analphobia thusly: “When you have a fear of anything to do with the anus, or anyone touching you there.”
While Grindr and SCRUFF boast a plethora of eager bottoms proudly proclaiming their preference, it’s real malady from which some gay men actually do suffer.
In fact, one of our favorite bloggers, Mark S. King, wrote about his struggles with all things anal in his essay Probing My Anal Phobia. King’s conundrum was “exploring the pleasures of my tush while fighting the terror that something stinky might be going on down there.”
The fear of “something stinky” is legit. Empty Closets is an online forum for LGBT people to anonymously share whatever is on their minds. Not surprisingly, analphobia is a hot topic. Many Empty Closets users share King’s concern about sex turning scatological.
“I think it is disgusting to insert a penis into a hole designed for excreting human waste,” an Anonymous user writes. “I love sucking cock, I just don’t care for the poop chute. My butt is exit only.”
Another user, Steele, adds: “I’ve always only seen it as the place you defecate out of, so the thought of doing anything sexual with it just seems disgusting to me.”
The other fear men on Empty Closets have is the potential for pain.
User Pixxo2009 keeps it simple: “Anal sex hurts.”
“I find taking a dump painful, so how could I handle that?!” user Lewis adds, which may be TMI for some people.
Then, of course, there’s the issue of dominance and shame, and the belief that bottoming is somehow emasculating or degrading, which is what Groff’s character, Patrick, may suffer from. He acknowledges that, although his parents accept his homosexuality, he’s concerned they might buy into the stigma that bottoming somehow makes him less of a man.
For a range of reasons, the bottom bunk is deemed by bias the weaker or less desirable position. It’s a deeply ingrained prejudice that has plagued humankind since antiquity, when war rape was used as a tool to dominate and humiliate both women and men.
In a post on another online forum called Straight Acting, user Nimby, claiming to be a sex therapist, writes:
“Bottoming brings up deeply held, often unexamined attitudes about gender roles, power, desire, being gay, and being yourself. What stops men from embracing the pleasure of bottoming almost always has to do with the personal meaning one attaches to the experience.”
Nimby then quotes the late author and psychologist Jack Morin:
“Virtually all men in our society learn negative attitudes toward homosexuality early in life. Those who turn out to be gay internalize these antigay messages, sometimes to a greater degree than straight men… A great many men try to suppress, at all cost, the soft, receptive aspects of themselves. They fear their masculinity will be compromised and, therefore, their value as people reduced.”
Internalized homophobia. Got it. But what about guys who simply don’t enjoy anal play or prefer another aspect of their polymorphous selves? It doesn’t have anything to do with poo, pain, or shame. It’s just not for them. Are they supposed to be in denial, too?
“I just don’t find it appealing,” Empty Closets user Duriru says. “But if my partner wanted to do it, I’d consider doing it.”
“I don’t dislike it — I just seem to enjoy other things more,” user Lexington adds. “Maybe because anal involves prep work?”
“Personally, it just doesn’t interest me – giving or receiving,” user Cscipio writes. “I’m really only interested in giving oral, honestly.”
User Gerry gets it absolutely right when he says: “There’s nothing wrong with someone not being into anal sex.”
Gay people are no more defined by what they (or don’t do) in the bedroom than non-gays, who certainly love to indulge in some backdoor banditry of their own. A man can still be gay without ever coming close to another man’s planet Uranus. Although we are firm believers of the “don’t dog it ’til you try it” rule. As is Patrick, in the end.
Just be sure to wrap it up when you do!
Watch the video of the brutal beating by Cossacks
To continue the star-studded new season of The Tonight Show, “British pop superstar” Harry Styles* dropped by Jimmy Fallon’s new New York studio to talk about fame, being famous, and his famous band One Direction.
We learn some fascinating new facts about Styles and One Direction, some of which have literally never been known until now. According to Styles, the band got their big break after sending a cassette tape to RCA Records (from…um…England, he thinks?), and his top-secret hair-styling tips include using two hairdryers at once!
He’s so hot!
*actually Kristen Wiig.
To be perfectly honest, we never totally loved Hedwig and the Angry Inch. But maybe the involvement of enchanted pixie Neil Patrick Harris can change our minds. Did we mention he takes his shirt off?
In an interview with the NY Times, Neil talks about his childhood love for musical theater, inspired by a traveling production of Annie. The video is required viewing, as it features a clip of the young actor singing in a dream sequence on Doogie Howser.
Now he’ll be hitting the stage as Hedwig, in full sexy drag. It hasn’t been totally easy: apparently drag queen friends have been needed to coach the cast on posture and delivery.
“Thankfully there’s lots of drag examples right now,” Neil says, pointing to Drag Race and Dallas Buyer’s Club (which, eek, maybe don’t use that as your model).
He’ll have big shoes to fill, as John Cameron Mitchell’s character is as iconic as, say, Charlie Chaplin or Indiana Jones. There’s simply no one else who could be that Hedwig, so he’ll have to discover a new approach to Hedwigging. Here’s the Times interview; we also recommend hopping over to Netflix to watch his episode of Murder She Wrote (alas it comes during the series’ misguided period where Jessica lived in New York).
For those of you not in the know, Neighbors is the same fraternity-themed film that delivered shirtless photos of Zac Efron grilling sausages and sporting a semi-boner under women’s sweatpants last September.
Not to be outdone by his buddy Zac’s first fully-nude scene, Franco told Cinema Blend that Neighbors will also feature his first full-blown sex scene (the only director’s note he got was “more jackrabbit”).
This is obviously not Dave Franco’s first full-blown sex scene, because he previously had gay sex with himself in that infamous Funny or Die skit from 2011. We’ll wait while you watch it again. And again, and again:
What’s more, the crew (including Seth Rogen, Zac Efron, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse) apparently devised a super-secret handshake while on set. Have a tissue ready:
Dave Franco: We all are — Chris, Zac, and myself — we went out drinking before the movie started just to bond. And we got a little drunk and we knew that we were going to have a lot of freedom to kind of just try anything we wanted. And so, we were like, “We should come up with a handshake. Some very specific handshake that’s going to make it seem like we’ve all been in this frat together for a few years. So, we created the most homoerotic anything anyone’s ever done.
So, it’s basically there’s a little hand move, but then one person drops to their knees and mimes giving a blow job to the other person. The person on their knees takes it in the mouth and then spits it to any nearby brother.
We repeat, One person drops to their knees and mimes giving a blow job to the other person. The person on their knees takes it in the mouth and then spits it to any nearby brother.
Or, Dave Franco drops to his knees and mimes giving a blow job to Zac Efron. Dave takes it in the mouth and then spits it to any nearby brother.
As you may have read in our earlier reports, trans activist and former Italian MP Vladimir Luxuria was detained twice in Sochi over the weekend. Michelangelo Signorile interviewed Luxuria about her ordeal on his SiriusXM radio show yesterday.r
The first time she was detained she was brought to a police station for several hours after trying to visit the gay nightclub Mayak in Sochi. She was carrying a rainbow banner at the time.r
The second time she was with her colleagues and they were detained outside the hockey arena after purchasing a ticket to a women's hockey game. She was wearing a rainbow outfit at the time because they had told her she couldn't carry a banner of any kind. She describes being dumped in a rural area.r
“At a certain moment I was really afraid, asking, ‘What you going to do with me?'" she recounted, noting that the men were making and receiving phone calls. “I was afraid, [thinking], 'Maybe they’re going to beat us. Maybe they’re going to arrest me.' They let us out, in the middle of nowhere, in the countryside, in the dark. It was a Fellini atmosphere. Me dressed as a fairy queen in the Russian country. I’m not ashamed to say that I cried. I was very nervous. Now I know that the Italian consulate was in touch with the Russian chief of police. And the order was to arrest me and keep me in prison but thanks to the intervention of the Italian consulate, I was released.”r
Luxuria said that what authorities seemed to really be afraid of was that she would shout something as a political protest near an Olympic venue and that it would appear on TV.r
Listen to two segments of the interview, AFTER THE JUMP...r
Pat Robertson won't repeat what the Duck Dynasty guy said because it "got graphic and a little disgusting" but, he told his viewers on Tuesday, "when you see what [gay people] do, it's not very pretty."r
Watch, AFTER THE JUMP...r
(via right wing watch)r
Members of the punk group Pussy Riot were attacked on Wednesday in a public plaza in Sochi while preparing to make a video of a new protest song called "Putin will teach you how to love your Motherland."r
Just after beginning the performance, a group of Russian Cossacks branding whips and pepper spray began attacking the group members, the WaPo reports:r
Alyokhina tweeted a photo Wednesday of a young man who had joined the five women for the performance — usually they perform as a feminist collective. He had a bloodied face, an injury Alyokhina said was suffered in the attack. She posted another photo of a woman with red marks on her chest.
Tolokonnikova, who was knocked to the ground and hit with a whip, tweeted that her husband, Pyotr Verzilov, had been taken to the hospital, unable to see because of the pepper spray. And David Khakim, a Sochi environmental activist, tweeted that police detained one man for questioning but let the others go.
“We were attacked by 10 Cossacks and men in civilian clothes,” he tweeted.
The Cossacks, descended from czarist-era horsemen who patrolled the borders of the Russian empire, are remembered historically for leading pogroms against Jews. Today they are socially conservative and ardent supporters of the Russian Orthodox Church. Recently, they have been revived as a sort of volunteer citizen patrol, and about 800 of them have supplemented the police providing security for the Winter Games here.
The attacks on Pussy Riot come a day after they were arrested and held for hours without being charged.r
Watch video of the attacks, AFTER THE JUMP...
Director: Anaïs Sartini
Cast: Clément Bayart, Andrei Odintsov
France / Russia | 2013 | 13 min
ENG - A gay short film about human rights in Russia, made as a reaction to the homophobic law in Russia, which came into force the 17th of march 2012 in Saint Petersbourg, and is now extended on the entire territory of Russia.
Clément, a French actor, goes to Saint Petersburg to participate in a film festival. When he gets there, he realizes he has disappeared: nobody can hear him nor see him. He meets Andrei, a Russian gay who experiences the same thing.
The results are in and the
critics creators agree: Sex and the City is not just a television show, it’s a timeless journey that must never end, no matter how many times Kim Cattrall demands a bigger paycheck.
Speaking exclusively with EW this week, SATC series creator Michael Patrick King admits there’s still “one story left” and a third film to boost the series’ film franchise into trilogy territory is more likely than you’d think.
“The great gift or riches or luck is that I worked on two shows that were so full that they spilled over into people’s lives and the characters were rounded enough that you could still wonder where they are,” King told EW, noting the fact that a recent Sarah Jessica Parker interview confirms she’s totally down for anything.
Sarah Jessica and I both know what that final chapter is. That doesn’t mean it will or should be told, but I do think there’s one story left. Whether it ever happens is a whole other situation. But there’s four girls, and those girls are still in my mind. There are other stories to tell and characters that haven’t even been written yet.
There are countless Twitter accounts devoted to plotting a potential third film, and don’t even get us started on how legit the Sex and the City fandom is. If there’s one show that should never go away, it’s this.
The television series ended ten years ago this month, and EW notes the obvious, claiming the biggest hurdle standing between King and another film are the four ladies involved. Lord knows Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda have had their fair share of real life spats regarding their respective diva statuses, but at this point, refusing a role in Sex and the City 3 would be a shameful disservice.
Plus, this leaves open the possibility that Carrie will finally leave Big. Fingers crossed.
New York-based photographer and visual artist Braden Summers traveled to four continents and six countries to create this stunning collection of global gay love.
The All Love Is Equal project shows iconic romance through a same-sex lens in these breathtaking cinematic photos.
“A large driving force behind creating this series was actually less about affecting the gay community directly, and more about giving the general population a way to relate to gay imagery which is devoid of sex, victimization, or banality – themes that might usually prevent some folks from connecting,” writes Summers. “The photographs are not documentations, they are dreamy illustrations of what open expressions of love in different cultures could look like in the future, more accepting time.”
Target audience or not, we still can’t get enough of this.