What could be more adorable than a cute little old lady lesbian? We love and cherish our elder dykes, because we have them to thank for so many victories of the early LGBT liberation movement, and also they bake delicious cookies.
And apparently Dear Abby has a soft spot for the Daughters of Bilitis as well, because the advice columnist just offered some tender words to a lesbian grandmother who’s having a difficult time with her son. The situation is a bit sad: the woman came out when her son was four; he’s now 30 and married with a child; and he’s decided that he needs to “protect” his family from LGBTs. Ugh.
There’s a hint in her letter that what’s really going on is a domineering religious wife who’s decided to cut the lesbian grandmother out of their lives. Abby has no patience for any of this bigoted nonsense: “If your son is under the mistaken impression that he is going to somehow ‘protect’ his children by isolating them from gay people, he must be living in an alternate reality,” she writes.
Abby goes on, “You can’t force your son and his wife to have contact with you if they don’t want to. Leave open the possibility that they may, over time, reconcile their love for you with their faith.”
And that’s pretty much all a person can do when a family member is being terrible: let them know that you’ll be there for them if they ever come around, and then give them as much space as they need to be far away from you. In the mean time, Abby suggests volunteering with PFLAG to fill the grandchild-shaped hold in the grandmother’s life, which really does not seem like a sufficient substitute but what else can you do?
It’s worth mentioning that Dear Abby has a track record of solid advice when it comes to queer issues, dating back decades when such positions were not quite so popular. Last year, she had stern words for a couple in Texas who wouldn’t include gay neighbors in a gathering, and she also counseled a closeted gay who was getting harassed at work. Even in 1979, the original columnist was advising bigots who complained about gay neighbors that they were in the wrong.
In the new web series Big Dipper’s World, things are cute (though some are also not cute), the body roll is a necessary component of anyone’s dance moves, and being a “big boy” is no excuse not to be a sexy, sassy queen.
Or as the bubbly queer rapper succinctly puts it in episode one:
“Feel your oats. Feel your body. Feel your friends. Just walk around and let everybody have it.”
And that is some advice we can all get behind.
Check out episode one below, and consider letting your inner big boy out to play:
Mitch Grassi and Scott Hoying, who form 2/5 of the a capella group Pentatonix and also collaborate together under the name 'Superfruit,' are back with a new mash-up. This time the boys mash-up Taylor Swift's "Blank Space," Nick Jonas' "Jealous," and Ariana Grande's "Break Free" to tell a tale of discovering love, infidelity and ultimately freedom. The mash-up also features Broadway vet Shoshanna Bean (whom you may recall from Wicked).r
Watch, AFTER THE JUMP...r
And in case you missed it, check out Superfruit's cover of Beyonce's last album in under 6 minutes HERE.r r
Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey is back with the second installment in his four-part video series on relationships. Dempsey's previous video looked at why we love who we do while this latest video addresses the question of how to find love in the first place. Dempsey breaks down the importance of investing into relationships as a way of loving yourself. He also addresses the particular struggles in finding love faced by gay men who have often internalized a message that there is something wrong with them or they are somehow broken.r
The doctor is in, AFTER THE JUMP...r
One year ago today, Starkville, Mississippi, became the first city in the state to pass a resolution recognizing the dignity of its LGBT citizens.r
However, instead of celebrating the anniversary of the historic resolution, the city's LGBT community is reeling from the Board of Aldermen's decision to undo it on Tuesday night.r
As expected, the board voted 5-2 to override Mayor Parker Wiseman's veto of its previous vote to repeal the pro-LGBT resolution. Perhaps more importantly, the board also voted to override Wiseman's veto of its vote to repeal domestic partner benefits for city employees, which were passed in September.r
The votes came after hours of public comments from dozens of speakers, most of whom expressed support for the pro-LGBT policies. The LGBT community also staged a rally and launched a hashtag, #WeAreStarkville, in advance of the vote.r
Human Rights Campaign Mississippi director Rob Hill issued this statement:r
“Though upsetting and disappointing, the board’s vote tells us that we must do more community engagement to show the leaders of Starkville that equality is important to move the city forward. Fairness and inclusion is critical to attracting new business to Starkville, diverse students to Mississippi State and quality workers to join the city’s workforce. Mayor Parker Wiseman showed tremendous leadership, courage and confidence to represent all residents of Starkville, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. LGBT people are our friends, neighbors, coworkers and family members, and we must ensure all people are welcomed within their communities."r
Ultimately, the board's decision to override the mayor's veto won't have much practical impact. No employees had signed up for domestic partner benefits, according to Wiseman. Assuming that the U.S. Supreme Court makes marriage equality the law of the land in June, gay employees in Starkville will be eligible for spousal benefits.r
The resolution, meanwhile, was nonbinding and largely symbolic, and needless to say aldermen can never take away LGBT citizens' dignity, no matter how hard they try.r
If anything, as HRC's Hill suggested, the primary effects of the board's decision will be to hurt the city's economy and Mississippi State University's ability to recruit top students and faculty.r
So congratulations, aldermen.r
Twitter reactions to the Board's vote, AFTER THE JUMP ...rr
#WeAreStarkville. It doesn't matter what the board of aldermen say, we still live here, and we will continue to fight for everyone's rights.r— MSU Spectrum (@MSUSpectrum) January 21, 2015
Tonight I sleep with a clear conscious knowing I did everything I could to make Starkville better. #WeAreStarkviller— Melissa Grimes (@m_d_grimes) January 21, 2015
The government also today announced the exact wording that people will vote on in the May referendum: “Marriage may be contracted in accordance with law by two persons without distinction as to their sex.”r
The announcement in relation to adoption by gay couples comes following the first televised debate earlier this week on the same-sex marriage referendum during which potential pitfalls on the issue of gay adoption were revealed.r
Actor Colin Farrell had pre-recorded an interview with host Claire Byrne in which he spoke passionately about his support for equal rights and how growing up with a gay brother and seeing him be at "the tail end of the whip of intolerance" left an indelible impression on him.r
Whereas existing laws state that only married couples or sole applicants can seek to adopt a child, proposed changes would extend the right to adopt to same-sex partners. The reform will be part of the Children and Family Relationships Bill, the general scheme of which was published early last year, with a revised version published last September by current minister for justice Frances Fitzgerald (right).r
The bill on same-sex marriage - along with a bill dealing with another referendum on reducing the age at which an individual can contest the presidential election from 35 to 21 - is expected to be published shortly and to be debated by both Houses of the Oireachtas in the coming weeks.r
Earlier today we reported that the Union of Students in Ireland has launched the Vote For Love campaign in support of same-sex marriage. Watch the campaign video, AFTER THE JUMP...r
In December, the Bishop of Elphin Kevin Doran (above) released a manifesto outlining the reasons behind the Catholic Church's continuing war against equal rights for gay people.r
Last weekend, Ireland's health minister Leo Varadkar announced that he is gay. Earlier today, Labour politician Dominic Hannigan announced that he married his partner of 20 years Chris, in London on New Year's Eve.rr
Anti-gay activist and likely Republican Presidential candidate Ben Carson spoke with Iowa talk radio host Steve Deace last night and suggested that Congress should oust judges who rule in favor of same-sex marriage, Right Wing Watch reports. Carson's comments come on the heels of the Supreme Court's recent decision to consider the question of same-sex marriage and President Obama's declaring same-sex marriage as a civil right in last night's State of the Union. Said Carson:r
What the president and what the Supreme Court need to reiterate is that the states have a mechanism whereby they can determine the will of the people, it’s called ballot referendum. It has been done multiple times already, 32 states have indicated that marriage is between a man and a woman, and a few judges have come and overturned that. That, as far as I’m concerned, is unconstitutional, and Congress actually has oversight of all what they call the inferior courts, everything below the Supreme Court, and that’s where those overturns have come. And when judges do not carry out their duties in an appropriate way, our Congress actually has the right to reprimand or remove them.r
And what does Carson think should be done if the Supreme Court finds bans on same-sex marriage to be unconstitutional? Something along the lines of, 'Never give up, never surrender':r
“We certainly cannot give up if, in fact, that turns out to be the case because we do still have the Congressional mechanism,” Carson said. “And the key here in our country, values and principles cannot be drummed out of us. They’re going to try and the only way we maintain a country with values and principles is we have to be brave enough to stand up for what we believe.”r
Listen to Carson's latest hateful rhetoric, AFTER THE JUMP...rr
It’s been argued that the gay social scene is getting more and more cramped. Pocket sized, even.
And as digital grids of thirsty queens replace public cruising, it only makes sense that people’s behavior would get more audacious. What’s the worst that can happen? You get ignored, blocked, maybe a nasty response. But the rejection is minimal, and then it’s on to the next.
What would happen if the tables turned again and we transferred our digital behavior back into the 3D world?
In San Francisco, it might go something like this:
Pastor Larry Tomczak feels bombarded, and that’s never a good thing. Then again, his severe antigay sentiment crumbles with incredible ease on a recent episode of Anderson Cooper 360.
In an op-ed for The Christian Post, Pastor Larry muses:
The indoctrination and propaganda coming from those advocating a gay lifestyle in our country classrooms and culture are increasing. All of us need to take note and take action to guard those we love.
We are Being Bombarded [sic]!
And what does he point to for examples of this indoctrinating propaganda? Shows like Dancing With the Stars and Survivor (is that still on?) have–shock!–had gay contestants, and that pesky Ellen Degeneres celebrates her “marriage” (he uses quotes of course) on her daytime talk show. Then there’s shows like Glee and Modern Family — don’t even get him started on those.
But Larry is an idea man, and he’s got the perfect solution to the whole mess — parents should turn off the TV and stick to the DVD player, where they can watch “wholesome” shows like I Love Lucy and Leave it to Beaver. And look, we love Lucy just as much as the next gay, but there are volumes to speak on dated gender roles propagated on both shows.
And as Anderson puts it, those were the “good old days, when gays could be arrested or fired from their jobs…and live their lives mostly in the shadows.”
It’s an obvious point to make, but here we are still having to make it. And while it’s easy for people like Anderson Cooper and Ellen Degeneres (or anyone rational being) to poke holes in Larry’s ideology, you can bet there’s a flock hanging on his every word, teaching their children the same babbling drivel.
With any luck they’re also watching Glee behind their parents’ backs and living for every second of it.
Here’s the segment as it aired:
The ceremony will honor LGBT media of the past year.
How do you know you're working on a TV show no one believes will succeed? A good indicator according to Rob Lowe is that you're working next door to a dildo factory.r
The Parks and Recreation actor shared his experience working on The Lion's Den which shot next to a dildo factory at a time when the factory was threatened by forest fires. Hence this gem: "The dildo people were running for the hills!"r
Find out more about the dildo people, AFTER THE JUMP...rr
Late last week, NBC released a new teaser for the forthcoming sitcom One Big Happy from producer Ellen DeGeneres.r
Coming in March, the show tells the story of a straight man (Nick Zano) and gay woman (Elisha Cuthbert) — they're best friends who decide to have a baby together. The catch? Just when Cuthbert's character has gotten pregnant, Zano's character finds a serious girlfriend. Think Gayby, but in sitcom form, and with principal characters' sexes reversed.r
Below is the preview, featuring DeGeneres. In the video, she says: "You will love it, and I'll tell you why: there's a lesbian in it." Check it out AFTER THE JUMP...rr